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I am 5 feet tall and until I turned 25 I weighed about 98 pounds. On that small frame rested a pair of 34C that didn’t require a bra if I didn’t want it.
People always asked if they were real at the most inappropriate moments, well I guess any moment is inappropriate unless, well you know…
The most inappropriate moment was on September 12, 2001 while I was standing in line in front of the New York Times headquarters waiting for a reprint of the paper. The woman behind me looked at me as I stood profile to her while talking to someone else and said: “Wow you have great breasts, are they real?” “Our world just blew up lady, prioritize,” I felt like yelling; but instead I smile and proudly confirmed their authenticity.
By the time I was 33 I was a full D cup that could still go commando on a 120 pound frame. I was also told that I had fibrocystic breast disease and that the density of my breast tissue was the cause for their gravity defying super powers and the reason I had multiple cysts. This is normal they said, that’s why people think you have fakies, that’s a perk, right? Perk…get it? Don’t sweat it, I was told, it’s common to have cysts, you’re fine. I felt fine, but one of my ‘cysts’ was growing bigger and getting harder.
In March of 2005 right before my 34rd birthday, I had a mammogram and an ultra sound. Both were negative; I didn’t have anything to worry about. In July of the same year I had one of my cysts removed with a fine needle and another mammogram again everything was negative. I wore a pink top that day, strange because I rarely were pink.
By September I had a yellowish discharge coming from my right nipple. In October when I went to the diagnostic place where I had been going to get tested, I was told “if the discharge isn’t bloody, we don’t really care, it’s not serious.”
WHAT!?! Bitch, I’ve never leaked before, why isn’t the other breast leaking? “You have cystic breasts, honey; you can’t run in here like a drama queen every time you feel something! You’re too young and ALL of your mammograms have been negative!”
In tears I ran to my primary doctor to complain about that place. My doctor was outraged and insisted I see one of the top breast specialists in NYC -- the only problem was I couldn’t get an appointment until January.
January? Well, then it can’t be that serious if they’re going to let 2 months pass by before I saw this alleged wonderful doctor. If they thought something was wrong then they would’ve rushed me to her. On January 3rd 2006 I walked into the Columbia Presbyterian Herbert Irving Cancer Pavilion. Cancer? What the hell!?!
To be continued...
Read more PINK Chronicles Volume 1 , Volume II, Volume III, Volume iV.
Jenny Saldaña is a New York based writer and performer jennysaldana.com. Drawing by Geof Isherwood
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